I hate Valentine's Day

Or do I?

I remember it like it was yesterday.  The Alfred University sweatshirt crumpled up in a ball in the back seat of my boyfriend's car.  He nonchalantly pointed to it and said, "That's your Valentine, gift by the way."

Or fast forward 20 years to a boyfriend who told me he was going to propose to me by or on Valentine's Day.  Instead, he was late picking me up and we went to Dave and Buster's and played video games and pop a shot basketball.  BWAAHAAAHAA!!  I still have the boots and the date jacket I bought for that very occasion.

Ah, or when back in my single days of being a school teacher.  The year I hit the jackpot with good chocolates as gifts from my students and I literally ate all the chocolate that weekend while watching movies and taking breaks to nap and do my nails.

In between these examples fall a myriad of jacked up, emotionally draining, weird, full of expectations Valentine's Days that ended in disaster due to my hopelessly romantic, lonely, insecure life.  Yes, that was a run on sentence, but read it again and you will understand how there was no way around it.

Due to the fact that most of my Valentine's Days have been completely dysfunctional festivals of pathetic emotional hopes and dreams of romantic bliss only to be shattered....I have decided that I hate Valentine's Day.  Dang, reading these run on sentences again is cracking me up.

Thanks to my friends and Ben and Jerry's ice cream, nothing is insurmountable, really.

Add to all this that I married a man who has a significantly bad memory from a Valentine's Day many many years ago so really I have no chance.

Seriously, Barry Manilow, you did me NO favors!  Couldn't you have sung about cleaning the kitchen and doing laundry or taking online classes?  That would have prepared me much better for my future and it would have helped my husband a lot.

Here is an example of a more appropriate song lyric that may have helped me grow up to become a more realistic and healthy adult (set to the tune of my favorite, Weekend in New England) haha although, this weekend I would NOT want to be in New England due to the weather forecast.

                                               "Weekend In the Kitchen"

Last night I said goodnight
Now its seems years
I'm back in the kitchen
Where nothing is clean
But thoughts of me sleeping late
and doing my nails
And tell me

[Chorus:]
When will my nails grow?
When can I sleep in?
When will this online class ever end?
And when will I hold a complete conversation again? 

Time in the kitchen
Took me away
To three cute children
And heart shaped pancakes on the tray
We started a breakfast
That must now be cleaned up
And tell me

[Chorus:]
When will my nails grow?
When can I sleep in?
When will this online class ever end?
And when will I hold a complete conversation again? 

I feel the change coming
I see my kids grow
I feel brave and daring
I feel my blood flow
With them I could bring out
All the love that I have
With them there's a Heaven
So earth ain't so bad
And tell me

When will my husband come home? 

When will we see him? 

When will this strong yearning end? 

And when will Pinkie Day come again?

Oh..tomorrow...phew. :)

So even though my Valentine's Days are nothing like I had pictured when I was dreaming to all the Barry Manilow songs I thought were actually true, it is still not so bad.  My children are my Valentines now and they feel safe and loved and thank GOD my daughter will have a bit more strength and autonomy than I did when I was young!  

Barry, you served me well, you really did.  

For the record, I really did end up having a dream come true love story with my husband that still continues into our 10th year of marriage.  

Also, my best Valentine's present from my husband ever was when he gave me a handmade rosary.  The beads are made from the rose petals from my wedding bouquet. However, it was reminiscent of the college sweatshirt incident.  It went something like this..."your Valentine present is right there.".  

Not...

"Oh, my sweet love, the day I married you changed my life forever and I wanted you to forever have a tangible remembrance of that day by having this rosary handmade for you from your beautiful wedding bouquet that I couldn't even see when you were walking down the aisle because all I could see was your loving eyes radiating with beauty."  

Pink heart pancakes for breakfast

I don't see any romance here, just cuteness.  John is learning how to get his own clothes and get dressed all by himself so he got a sweater vest and pulled it on like pants.  He is currently running around in his underwear while I finish this post.  

So no, I don't hate Valentine's Day.  I just had to reinvent it. 

Old habits die hard, ya know. 

 So to all of you scrolling through Facebook and seeing everyone's picture perfect Valentine Day celebrations, just remember Barry Manilow is full of it.  In reality, there is some bummed out crap going on somewhere!   

Happy Valentine's Day!!! 

PS.  I JUST finished this post and the doorbell rang.  It was my wonderful friend, Mary, dropping off a gift for ME.  The kids were not happy.  WHAT?  Why would Mommy get a gift? But how sweet.  So no, I don't hate Valentine's Day.  But I do so LOVE surprises, friendship, love, my family and life in general.  

My Valentines. (Pilar is not pictured because she not here this weekend)