Motherhood you're so cruel

 Motherhood you're so cruel

You make me laugh, you make me cry

You make me ask WHY

...over and over again, the pain and the joy repeat, back and forth, back and forth, as if doing a dance so familiar and so knowing that it reverberates all the way back to the beginning of time. 

I am not the only one you have in your clutches.

As countless are the heartaches and joys of doing your bidding, are the number of women who have experienced the same. 

What makes your cruelty feel so unique to me, though? I know what it is.  It is your indelible mark of God's promise of reward and love for participating in His unique creation....the creation of  new human life from nothing.  

It is the absolutely unrepeatable and irreplaceable nature of my very self, of my very soul. 

Still, I will never forget how cruel you are to me.  My own mother died before I became a mother.  Did this even matter to you?

 Time is a thief, but YOU rob me every day because of the slow, slow, slow letting go of very humans I helped to create.  

Don't I get a say? 

I HAD LOVE.  I'm only guilty of having love to share.  Then shouldn't I be able to have a say in your cruel ways of reality and temporal pain? I'm not cruel like you. I should have a say.

The very definition of you is to let go....to literally bleed dry at the core of my body as time passes and to say goodbye over and over again with my heart and my mind. 

Motherhood, you're so cruel....

But I shall forgive you.  70 times 7 times I shall forgive you. Over and over I shall forgive you, while I keep dancing the ever so familiar dance of joy and pain.