Every December 19th...

{I wrote this blog post a year ago and never actually shared it.  I even said in the post that I was going to share more of my experiences so this December 19th I'm holding true to that.  It may be 33 long years overdue but who's counting.} 



I have an unending pain.  It reignites every December 19th since 1986.  I have a pain in my soul such that if a soul could be visible and look at its reflection in the mirror, it would wither and weep at the picture of the memory it sees. 

A scared 13 year old girl who one moment is chatting with her neighbor on the phone and laughing away to begging her to call 911 because her house is on fire.  Not only that, the very spot where the fire started was where her feeble grandmother sat in her chair and died before she and her sisters even knew there was a frightful emergency.

We didn't know the fire had even started until the flames were fully engulfed.  Grandma lived in a little apartment attached on to my house off the back porch.  I was the last person to see her alive.  It was my turn to help her that morning by bringing her prunes and whatever else.  She would always say to us, "Take a quarter."  She always had a roll of quarters and whenever we helped her out, she would reward us.  I was the lucky recipient of a quarter that morning and then the next time I looked at the chair she was sitting in, it was nothing but charred ashes and smoke.  All I could think of in my 13 year old mind was how could she have been sitting in that? What happened to her?  The smell.  Oh the smell of the fire.  I kept that quarter for so many years after and have always been disappointed that I lost it along the way...

The things we over here adults say when the adults don't realize young people are listening can be the most impressionable in our memories.  For example, I heard my mother talking about our priest coming over to pray and anoint my grandmother's body and I heard her say that the priest said, "There was nothing to anoint."  But I had JUST seen her only hours earlier...Looking back, I can't imagine how hard that must have been for my mother.  It was HER mother.  Her own mother died a few days before Christmas in such a tragic and devastating way.  And two of my sisters and I were the only ones home at the time.  

A man came from across the street and broke the window where Grandma was sitting and that only fed the fire and made the flames shoot out of the window.  I know this because as my neighbor was walking us across the street to her house and she told me not to look back.  She kept saying, "Don't look back". 

I looked back.  

Before the fire trucks arrived and before my neighbor arrived to help us across the street to her house, I had to find a way OUT of my house.  Come to think of it, I don't know which way my sisters went out of the house.  Instead of going out the front door where it was safe, I went to the back of the house where the fire was and walked through the smoke to get out the back door.  I was so panicked and ill prepared for anything of this nature and it has actually affected me my whole life.  I still have trouble with quick decisions and emergencies to this day.  

The reason I went through the back door was because it was slushy and snowy outside and I remember thinking that I had my slippers on and couldn't walk in the slush.  It makes no sense, but what does when one is in a situation like that.  So scary. Getting out of my house is something that I remember so well.  The thoughts that went through my head...the panic feeling...the black black smoke. 

I couldn't see for a few seconds as I went though it and that feeling has stayed with me.  And then to get out on to the sidewalk to fresh winter air and cry for help.  So so real. 

That night my family all stayed with different friends and family.  On the news, they showed the medical team taking Grandma's draped body on the stretcher out of the house. I was so completely horrified.  Also, that afternoon after the fire was out, the investigator wanted me to go back over there and answer questions.  WHY?  I couldn't recognize anything.  Charred burnt things and smoke.  I saw her CHAIR.  

What my parents told me they chose to believe was that she had a stroke or heart attack, died suddenly and dropped her lit cigarette on herself.  We have always prayed that she died before the fire.  She was frail and needed a walker.  She chain smoked.  There was a buzzer she would push if she needed us and that never buzzed.  

My home had smoke damage all the way up to the third floor and attic.  I remember something about gunpowder being on our back porch that never even exploded. A small plastic statue of Mary that was in our kitchen melted back from the heat.  It was a staple in our kitchen for years after and many commented on how it appeared that Mary was leaning back out of the way and that she was looking out for us all.

Our neighbors came together and gave us Christmas gifts that year.  I can still picture the sweatshirt I received!  Oddly, I can't really remember how we celebrated Christmas that year or how long it was until I stayed in my house again.  Maybe a few days. 

Where is this traumatic memory stored in my brain.  Why, after 32 years, do I recall every detail and still feel scared?  Overall I believe we are all a product of our own pains, hurts, joys, fears and brokenness.  We all make our way through things that pain our hearts and cut us to the core. We never know the sufferings of another, the memories that hurt, the scary situations we encounter head on.  Life is not one moment.  It is journey of a million of little moments.  It's up to us to store these memories and turn them in to something healthy and to heal.  Maybe sharing this story has helped me.  Thank you for being a part of my million little moments.  

I tend to use humor and sarcasm to make people laugh and to make myself laugh. In the second half of my life, I plan on sharing more of the pain and realness of life that has taught me sooo many lessons.  Laughter truly is the best medicine, as they say.  Boy, has it been my savior. But maybe I'll actually ease up on the sarcasm.  Just maybe.

So every December 19th I stop and reflect as it gets so close to Christmas.  I stop and think about what is truly important, what makes me tick, and what I have to be grateful for in life.  Many blessings, many moments, many journeys.  I pray you have the courage to share what you need to share and bring out in the open what weighs you down and what is not your fault.

A Petty Pilgrimage

THE YEAR IS 1979.  I'm 5 years old.  I kick a lady in the chin on the National Mall in DC while walking through the sea of people who were there for Pope John Paul II's mass on the mall.  My parents brought the whole family from NY. 

That is my only memory from when my parents took my family to see the Pope in 1979.  I kicked a lady in the chin when I was stepping over her. 

PRESENT DAY:
I took Carmen to dance last Tuesday night.  I had some time to think.  Why am I obsessed with Pope Francis' visit to the US? Why have I been in such turmoil about whether or not to take the children? Why am I a Pope nerd? (yes, that is a real term, by the way.  You can look it up.  Never mind, don't look it up.)  Do I want them to grow up and have one memory of seeing the Pope, like I did?  A memory of kicking a lady in the chin?  We can just watch it on TV.  We have been glued to EWTN ever since he arrived in Cuba.  The children have been learning so much just by watching EWTN.  It is so great to be able to watch a TV station with them that is so edifying, informative and full of life!

So just watching it on TV should be fine.  Well, it was still bothering me.  So I thought, hey, maybe you should actually put your phone down, be quiet and just pray about it. 

So I did.

I put my seat back in the parking lot of the dance studio and just looked up at the trees.  I quieted my mind and relaxed.  That's all I needed.  I just needed a few moments to let go and to realize that it all boiled down to one thing....

I miss my parents. 

I let myself have that feeling for a few moments.  It is moments like these in my life that I realize how much I miss them.  After all, anyone who knew my parents knew one thing...they were Catholic.  They loved the Pope!  I will never forget seeing Cardinal Ratzinger walk out on the balcony as Pope Benedict XVI in 2005.  My father was still alive but didn't know really what it meant because of his Alzheimer's.  My mother passed away in 1993 so she wasn't alive to see it.  See, my parents LOVED Cardinal Ratzinger. I remember them talking about him back in the 80s.  Wow, to see him become Pope, they would have loved it. 

But, that is one of the many moments I couldn't share with them. 

So as I sat in the van, I was so happy to realize the fact that I actually miss my parents.  It brought relief.  Ok, I thought.  I am completely ok not bringing the children to DC to see Pope Francis.  I know my parents are with me in spirit.  I felt close to them and consoled by them as I looked up at the trees for a few moments.  I felt so much better.  I shed a few tears, sat back up and felt better.  Easy as that. 

I let it go. 

Well, If I didn't believe it before, I do now...  It is that sometimes you just have to get out of the way to let God work.  I spent so much time wondering what I should do and trying to plan that I never really stopped to let God help me out. 

As soon as I let go, I got a message from my old college friend.  We were chatting and she asked me if I wanted tickets to the lawn of the Capitol for Pope Francis' historic address to the joint session of Congress.  Her husband is Tim Huelskamp, the congressman from Kansas and he made available to me 6 tickets.  I could take my children and my nephew!  There are no words to express my gratitude for Tim and Angela making this possible for my family.

It came out of nowhere and it was right after I let everything go.

So arrangements were made in high gear.  My nephew lives up in Northern Virginia so he was able to pick up the tickets and metro cards and we were all set! 

And now, I,  the little 5 year old girl from 1979 who kicked the lady in the chin, can give my children the memory of going to see the Pope, as well.  This is a dream I have had ever since I found out Pope Francis was coming to DC.

When I told the children, they were so excited.  Carmen commented how special it would be because they never got to see a Pope before.  So cute.  Emmett's face said it all.  When he is excited about something, he doesn't show a great deal of emotion on the outside.  His eyes and smile said it all and he took a big breath in as if to take in the joy of the news.  John, well, he's 3.  He just acted like a cat and walked out of the room. 

OK, so what follows is a bit of a picture story of the day....

 

 

So here it is, 2:30 am Thursday morning.  I set my alarm for 1:30, got up, and started getting the kids up and in the car.  They slept in their clothes and were ready to go.  John was so cute the night before.  He just kept asking, "Mommy, can I sleep in the car?" over and over again.  He heard us talking about how I was going to wake them up in the middle of the night and they would sleep in the car THEN.  However, a 3 year old's brain obviously doesn't compute that!  He thought he was just going to sleep in the car all night.  By the way, that is my 16 year old in the front seat.  I had to crop her face out to prevent embarrassment on her part.  It is absolutely the best sleeping picture I have EVER seen!  It's a classic. 

 

 

We arrived at my nephew, Robby's apartment at 4:15 am.  We got to the Vienna metro exactly on time and we took off at 4:55am.  The kids were so excited to be on the metro for the first time!  Well, Emmett wasn't at first because he couldn't sit next to Robby, but then I told him he could sit next to him on the return trip and it turned out fine.

 



Here they are on the escalator.  Excited to get off and get to our spot on the Capitol lawn. 

 

 

I can't believe it was still dark when we arrived at the lawn!  The security guards took my two Contigo water bottles and only left me one small Dasani water bottle.  We were on this lawn from 5:45am until around 1:00pm with only my homemade pumpkin muffins and that one small bottle of water.  We rationed sips of water and we never want to see pumpkin muffins again!  Also, John was so sick!  The poor guy had a stuffy nose that kept getting worse throughout the day.  He was a trooper. Thankful for those muffins, though.  He just held onto his muffin like it was a security blanket.  He didn't let go of that muffin, even when he fell asleep.

 

 

 

 

I like these pictures of the Capitol as the sun was coming up.  We were up pretty close in the crowd having gotten there so early, but the kids had a hard time seeing the jumbotron screens.  I was very sore the next day from picking them up so often to see!  I couldn't deny them seeing after we had come so far.  They were just drowned in the crowd.  They did so great.  I could tell how happy they were to be there.  I explained so much to them about what was happening.  They learned so much about government, what happens at the Capitol, the historic fact that a Pope has never addressed a joint session of congress. 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm so glad we brought the blankets.  As much as a pain as it was to carry them, the kids were able to spread out and sleep some when we got there.  HOWEVER, it was crazy!  As the time drew closer to when the Pope was going to head from the Vatican Embassy over to the Capitol, the crowd surged forward twice!  The first time, I was hopping with my surgical boot half on and half off because it happened so fast (wearing the boot because I am still recovering from foot surgery).  Then it happened again and we just stayed standing for the rest of the time. 

 

Oh my, my foot was not happy.  I couldn't feel from my knees down.  But it was worth it.  At one point during the speech, I jumped up and down and I landed on a little lady who was sitting down right behind me.  I was bound to have some kind of incident like the one I had in 1979!  

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

Above are a few pictures of the waiting time. The kids made friends with the girls playing cards next to us and they joined in on some card games.  John had fun coloring. We met a nice lady next to us who had come all the way from Texas!  The poor lady was stuck sitting down and we helped get her up to her feet when the crowd surged forward. 

 

Throughout the day, the mood and feel of being there was amazing.  Everyone was so happy and polite and nice for the most part.  When John was crying on our way out because we were basically in a bottleneck of people to get out through a small opening, a lady handed me a little bottle of water for him.  We were all able to stay together and make it out in one piece!  We even saw the presidential candidate, Ben Carson, on the way out.  That was fun.  I also saw my friend, Mary Kay!  That was one of the best moments of the day...walking up to her and screaming!  It is weird how fun it is to see people you know in a random crowd of complete strangers.

 

 

I loved taking pictures of the Capitol.  I know it would be so much easier to see it on television, but as Emmett said, "Being there in person will have a completely different feeling."  He was right!

 

There was a man next to me who asked me, "Would you be here if it was to see the Pope before this one?"  I said, "Yes, of course.  I like to try to see the BIG picture.  Especially the last 3 Popes together."  He was in complete disagreement.  He conveyed that this Pope has a different message and he likes this Pope.  Take over 2000 years of the history of papacy and like only THIS pope because he has a different message.  Yes, he does.  BUT, we would do well to remember that the pope is the Vicar of Christ.  He takes the place of Christ for us on earth so he can lead his flock.  Also, a lot of people don't realize that Pope Benedict XVI appointed the majority of cardinals into the college of cardinals that voted in the conclave to elect Pope Francis in the first place.

 

 

Anywho...Sometimes, I don't know if I am more fascinated with the papacy because of how much I love history or because of my deep love for Catholicism and the Church. Either way, to experience an historic event like this with my family was an extraordinary privilege.  

 

 

Emmett loved using his cousin, Robby's, camera.  He must have taken a million pictures.  Most of them, I'm sure have been deleted, though!  The kids loved that their cousin, Robby, came with us.  Robby was so nice to trust Emmett with his camera!

 



Emmett had a great experience that day.  He really listened to the Pope's address, too.  He picked up on things he was saying and he made comments.  Someone handed back a little American flag and a little Papal flag to the kids.  It was so neat.  That type of hands on experience never would happen at home.  The sights and sounds of the day were so neat and really made an impression on the kids. 

 

 

 

AND FINALLY...HERE HE IS!

 

The jumbo screen sound feed and video came on when John Boehner was waiting for the pope to arrive.  We saw Pope Francis' motorcade going by on the street and everyone screamed and clapped.  When the sound feed came on, you could have heard a pin drop in the crowd, it was so quiet.  John fell sound asleep and we made a barricade around him with our bodies so he wouldn't get stepped on!  At one point, I heard the woman behind us scold another woman for trying to get up closer and push past us.  She said, "you are stepping on a child." She was even protective of John.  I'm so glad he was with us because there was something about having all the kids there that made it so special.  I really missed not bringing our other teenager, who is in college now and living in Charlottesville.  And, of course, I missed George not being able to go.  He was so supportive from afar.  I could tell he knew how much it meant to us. 

 

Pope Francis talked about family and working hard to provide.  He talked about not being able to hide his concern for the family and how it is under attack in today's world.  He talked about important children are and how important life is at every stage of development. 

 

To be there at the Capitol and hear such a loving, positive message come from THAT building was just so encouraging and uplifting.  I felt as if my batteries were recharged.  I felt blessed in that sea of people.  I felt like he was talking to me.  And isn't that was Jesus does?  He talks to each one of us.  He is so personal and He has such a personal love for each and every one of us.  That is why being in a sea of people didn't matter. 

 

When Pope Francis talked, it was as if my family was the only family on that lawn.  When he walked out onto that balcony, the thrill of it was so special.  After his talk, we waited and waited and didn't know what door he would come out of.  We heard the crowd start clapping and yelling things like, "Viva, la Papa!"  Long live the pope. 

 

Also, when Pope Francis was talking from the balcony to the crowd, one of the first things he said was that the most important people here are the children and he blessed them.  I was holding Carmen up at the time and she kissed me and I kissed her and I said, "Did you hear that? He is talking about you."  Then she said to me, "Mommy, when I grow up and have children of my own someday, I am going to tell them that you brought me to see the pope." 

 

 

 

 

 

Here is John holding onto his muffin.  He slept for the whole speech.  I was so glad he wasn't crying for that part!  He only cried on the way out of the bottle neck of trying to get off the lawn and out of the security perimeter.  Poor guy.  He was such a good boy.

 

 

My view looking behind me.

 

 

 

 

My teenager was so nice to help me hold John a few times.  

 

And here we are in Staunton at the horse stables at 6pm that night for my teenager's equine therapy horseback riding lesson.  I can't believe we made it on time!  My teenager is not Catholic and she was a very good sport that day.  I definitely wanted to get back for her lesson.  She loves riding the horses.

 

 

 And here is the end of a wonderful and blessed day.  On our way home...

 

This is a picture from NBC news website.  I made a black X on the picture that shows about where we were standing. 

 

So there you have it.  Our "Petty" Pilgrimage to Washington DC.  When we were home that night watching the replay on EWTN, Emmett said, "I can't believe we saw the Pope."

 

Success. 

 

I gave them their memory just like I had when I was 5 years old.  And I am fairly confident they will took away more special memories than I did of kicking a random lady in the chin! 

 

We will be watching the Synod on the Family very closely this week.  I am so happy to have a family that is so cared for and cherished by the Church.  It is a road map that I gladly use to navigate through life.

 

Thanks for stopping by and have a great week!

 



"The Very Harried Month of May"- Making Intangible Memories in Physical Places

NOTE:  If anyone who reads this blog post has any information about how to contact the family who was affected by the fire at 1588 Bradley Street in Schenectady, NY, please comment below or message From Teacher to Mom on Facebook.  I am hoping there is some way to send a monetary gift in form of a gift card, or something of that nature, to help them in their time of loss.  Thank you! 


I have changed the song to the "Very, Very Harried Month of May".  May is not so merry.  It is just not.  EVERYTHING happens in May.

These are the events on my family's list this year:

• Baby shower (sister in law in NY.  Sorry to be missing it!)
• First Communions (2 of our Godchildren and 1 friend)
• Dance Productions (Valley Dance Theatre spring show, Carmen's first year doing this)
• Senior Prom (my two teenagers are going together and I am honored that they want me to go to dinner with them!)
• Mother's Day (Um, whatever about that. Whoever made Mother's Day in May was playing a joke.  It is the busiest Month of the year for Mom's, I would venture to say)
• Our Annual Memorial Day party (I guess I dug my own grave there by adding another event to an already busy month!  Well, it all started when John decided to be born on May 14th and my friend convinced me to have a party two weeks after he was born.  She was a wonderful help with the party! Couldn't have done it without her.  We had John baptized on Memorial Day weekend and celebrated afterwards and thus began our annual Memorial Day party.)  
• High School Graduation  (one of my teenagers is graduating from High School on June 6.  Oh wait, that is June.  But I have to plan in May, RIGHT?)  
• Birthdays (John will be 3 on the 14th!)  and our dear friend Uncle Jerry's birthday is on the 11th, always around Mother's Day.
• Standardized testing (This is the first year I am testing both Emmett AND Carmen, so it is taking even longer) 

I told George I was going to just prepare myself to miss something big.  I will probably forget something, even though I live with my calendar and my phone.  

Yesterday, I found out that my childhood home (I lived there the first 19 years of my life) had a fire and two people people, a mother and daughter, died.  The home, 1588 Bradley Street, is no more.  It is being demolished as I type this. Both of my grandmothers and my own mother died in this home.  My maternal grandmother, in a fire in 1986, when I was just 13 years old.  And now this week, a mother and a daughter.  I don't what it is about that house and fires and claiming the lives of strong women, but the saga has now ended.  

As I pray for the family affected by the fire and reflect with my own siblings about memories we made in that home, I realize that everything on my own family's list for this busy month of May is about making memories and being together with people I love.  

While we are making memories in physical places that can perish, as with my childhood home this week, the important thing to remember is to not get caught up in all the physical stress of life.  It is so fleeting.  Unfortunately we are reminded of that all too often through tragedy.  

On the other hand, the memories that are seemingly so fleeting, can impact us forever.  Next year, May will come around again, just as it always does.  Busy months and dull boring days alike have their place.  But the small things we say and do, the looks we give people, and the genuine moments we give to loved ones and even strangers on the street, are what really last.

A mother and a daughter died in that fire in my childhood home.

I think of my Carmen, my daughter. I think of how each night we go to bed and don't see each other til the morning.  The mother and daughter that died in the fire went to bed only to wake up to trauma and heartache in the middle of the night.  Forget about how busy their month was.   What was their relationship like?  How did they feel every day?  Did they have any regrets or anything they would have done differently?

I have read such nice things about them in the news following this tragedy.  I am glad I got to meet the mother, Benita Thomas, last August when I drove by to show my children where I grew up.  She was coming out of the house to her car and I said hello and introduced myself.  I told her I grew up there in her house.  

Reflecting on the tradegy in my childhood home, my philosophy this busy month of May has changed a little.  I am simply going to keep trying to do my best and to not lose focus on my children and their day-to-day needs.  Instead of cleaning the kitchen, I took a few moments to sit on the deck and watch the children play in the yard together.  Instead of making the kids go to bed at their normal time, we watched their newborn home videos together. Watching Emmett meet Carmen for the first time is adorable.  Instead of making lunch right now, I am stopping to reflect, think and just be.

I'm exhausted, my foot hurts and I am overhwelmed with responsibilities of motherhood.  However, knowing it all can be gone in the blink of an eye causes me to pause and think of what I really cherish in my life.  How do I want to spend my busy months?  Lamenting how full the calendar is?  Or being grateful that my days can be filled with family and a love that this is so big that no temporary, physical place could ever hold it.  The love that my family has for each other will go on and on far longer than this home we live in ever could.  That is as it should be.  

The physical place in which we reside is not meant to last forever.  Yes, it is a shock when things comes to an abrupt end, but nothing is without purpose.  What meaning and purpose we find in it is ours for the making...

Beautiful things that come to us from nature are so temporary.  The flower blooms that come forth in May die soon after. But that beauty goes back to the earth in the dirt and mulch that we lay the next year helps to bring forth more beauty in new blooms again and again.  

So are we going to dwell on the beauty in every present moment  (of our own springtimes in life)...

My home in Virginia

 or will we dwell only the charred remains from our past (that so resemble the ugly mulch that we lay on top of the weeds and dirt)?

My childhood home in New York

Another house will most likely be built here in the empty space on Bradley Street.  It is certainly the end of an era, but also the beginning of something else.  That's how it goes.  That is how everything goes.

For me, it is a mixture.  It is a balance.  It is joy and pain all rolled into one.  It is past, present and future working together.  What I dwell on in any given day depends on many things.

One thing of which I am sure to think about every day, though, are the notes my daughter writes to me (we each have a little homemade mailbox outside of our rooms and we write to each other). Seeing life through eyes of a child is a gift. 

So here's to the busy month of May and to all those memories and places and people we hold dear.  May we all have something in our lives that trancends the physical and carries us through the ups and downs, the good and bad, and everything in between.

In conclusion,  as my old childhood home is torn down today, I am happy to have a rather heavy and cumbersome keepsake.  Our phone booth! It was in my house for many, many years.  It was quite a novelty.  I wouldn't have it if it weren't for my brother, Bernie, who was visiting me in Virginia a few years back when I got the call that I could have it if I wanted it.  He drove up to New York on the spur of the moment and got it!

I think it is hysterical that this phone booth made it all the way to Virginia.  Thank you, Bernie!  And thank you to our former neighbors who gave it back to our family after getting it from my Dad when he left the house.  I cleaned it out and sat in it it today and took the pic of the graffiti.  Wow.
It is so strange how physically being somewhere brings back so many memories!

Praying for all families who experience loss and, in particular, for the Thomas family.  

Pinkie Day Episode 20- The Petty household grows by one

So sorry I missed you all last weekend!  We have been sad because we never had Pinkie Day last weekend.  George stayed in Richmond and we couldn't go because poor Emmett was so sick and we needed a day to relax.

My foot from my plantar fasciitis was also in so much pain that I had to force myself to stay off of it.  I actually played frisbee the day before for only just a few minutes and I really paid for it.  I was in so much pain.  I have been praying for healing, literally, praying to the patron saint of foot ailments.  I lie in bed at night praying for healing.  What better body part to pray to for healing than the actual HEAL?  :)  Right?  I even FINALLY ordered the essential oils kit because of my foot and because Emmett has been sick three months in a row.

Well, I am happy to report that the oils that my friends have been touting all these months are actually soooo good that my foot is healed before they have even arrived in the mail!

Seriously, though, I am excited to use the oils.  I have even been using them for my teenage foster daughters.   The lavender and lemongrass has been helping with relaxation and relieving stress.

BUT, I am more excited that I have finally had relief in my foot.  I have been doing this exercise that my brother told me about that his chiropractor told him to try.  It is wonderful!! I have been doing it for three weeks now and I think this is exercise is one of the huge reasons I have been healed.  Look for an instructional video soon on how to do this amazing exercise.  I just don't want to share it yet in case my pain comes back.  I don't want to give you false hope!

Here is an overview of what I have been doing for my plantar fasciitis:

1. Special exercises
2. Taking anti inflammatory diclofenac
3. NEVER going barefoot
4. ordered Kafflinger brand shoes to slip on and wear around the house
5. bought cheap arch supports from Walmart to put in my dress shoes
6. paying my children to rub my feet

This foot ailment has basically been my life the past months.  I have to get it right because it is just simply exhausting trying to take care of my household with this pain in foot.  

So this weekend was so nice.  George surprised us by coming home early Friday evening...

You'll see in this video that Emmett is enjoying watching John run up to Daddy that Emmett stays back to watch.  It is so sweet.  And Carmen had somewhat of a challenging time since you will also notice in the video that she didn't come out to say hi.  She was having some different feelings this weekend and she has been working all that out.  She hadn't seen Daddy for 2 weeks and it was somewhat of an adjustment for her this time around.  She ended up having a great weekend.  We went to a birthday party yesterday and Palm Sunday Mass today and the children got to play with their friends, as well.  

You may be wondering how our household grew by one.  We have welcomed another teenager into our home.  She has been here for 2 weeks now and we love her.  She just said tonight that it feels like she has been her much longer than 2 weeks already.  We have been busy!  Maybe someday you will get to meet her.  In the meantime, please pray for the well being and happiness of all in our home.  We are so happy to share family times with whoever stops by for a visit, no matter how long.  

So in case you don't see much blogging from me, know that I am happily going about the work that I know I am meant to do.  I am living and loving everyone in my care and happy to be chosen to do so.  Living real life doesn't leave much time for blogging.  So goodnight.  I am off to spend a little more time with my husband before I pass out for the night.  

In the meantime, enjoy some sights from our last two weeks....

Just a silly picture with Emmett

Look at these two studying away.  So proud of them.  I love my view from my desk. :)

Well, I ordered a print and framed Carmen's adorable picture that I took a few weeks ago at the dance studio.  Love how it turned out.  

This guy rides in the car all the time nowadays.  He does great tagging along with all of us.  

Ah, my hometown.  This is Main St. Waynesboro.  Picked Pilar up from school on Thursday and we had lunch at the river downtown.  

Wonderful friends from my days at Christendom College.  Dale and MaryKay.  We all met at Prince Michele Winery last weekend since Dale was in from Chicago.  Poor Emmett was so sick he was vomiting the whole day.  He was a trooper.  

Here are a couple of pics of Uncle Dale and Carmen.  Dale is Carmen's Godfather.  She was delighted to see him.  He gave her a ballerina music box and some books.  She was on cloud nine. 

And this is my Carmen!  Perfect picture of her.  Really captures her essence. :)  She is growing so fast that she has bruises on both of her shins from falling and tripping so many times.  :)

And this is a sweet letter that Carmen wrote to me about my foot. The kids have all been so kind and understanding.  

I love this picture because Carmen and John wanted Emmett to sit with them in the back of the car and they all looked at books together.  It was so sweet.  

Have a great week, everyone!  And no matter what you did this weekend, I hope it was fulfilling, purposeful and gratifying.  

Til next time...whenever that may be....

Move over "Elf on the Shelf", make way for the "Sacrifice Manger"

What are those little nutty religious Petty kids up to now?

Well, let me just share...

Warning...this post contains religious content.  If you are looking for Elf on the Shelf ideas, keep scrolling, hit the back button, go back to Facebook.  Do what you need to do for the elf.  We are all about the baby Jesus here.

Here we are doing advent adventure in my bed because my plantar fasciitis is back with a vengeance.  Pay no attention to the background of the picture that I am calling attention to right now.  At least the clothes basket is empty.  The foreground is what matters. :)  Emmett and Carmen engaged in their Advent Adventure books!

Monday was a holy day of obligation.  I wanted to go to mass, but I just couldn't because my plantar fasciitis is acting up again.  I have to stay off my foot as much as possible.

By the way, if you have never had plantar fasciitis then I can explain it this way...

Nevermind...there is no way to explain the sheer misery that accompanies every single step from the moment you limp out of bed in the morning in order to selflessly and sacrificially take care of shorter people who keep asking you for things.  Moving on...

It ended up being a good thing that I stayed home because we were able to have a very productive religion lesson.   We watched mass broadcast on EWTN from the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Washington DC.  It was great because that was the feast day we celebrated yesterday. (well, a solemnity, to be exact. I actually learned something in Advent Adventure, too!)  It was the feast of the Immaculate Conception.

I am looking forward to taking the children there next week on a field trip now.  It was perfect timing to see the shrine on TV and learn about it.   Now, it will mean that much more to them when they see it.

The mass quizzes in the Advent Adventure books are great.  They really help the children focus on important parts of the mass.  One thing I remember as a child is that no one really explained to me what on earth (or Heaven, for that matter!) was going on at mass.  Therefore, in living my life over with my little offspring, I love watching mass on EWTN with them because I encourage them to ask questions.  We practice prayers, talk about the altar and who is doing what, etc.  For example, Emmett pointed out that a bishop was the main celebrant because he saw his little red hat.  Then we discussed how he is actually a cardinal.  Having children is a strange feeling sometimes because it is often like I can see that little person I once was through their eyes.

It is kind of like having an out of body experience where I am watching me from my own childhood perspective and making adjustments to my own parenting as I go. What?!  Read it again.  It make sense, I promise!

So, what all are we doing on our Advent Adventure?

• Praying a decade of the rosary a day
• learning how to pray the Angeles prayer
• listening to stories about saints
• making our Jesse Tree ornaments and watching the Jesse tree videos that go along with them
• doing word search puzzles, cryptograms (ugh, I am not good at those!), mazes, mass quizzes and coloring pages

By far, however, the most beneficial and special activity the children are doing on their adventure is making a "sacrifice manger".  It looked so silly to me at first.  I thought, honestly?  That sounds like some kind of wacked out overly religious practice.  I thought this, until I saw  how the the children took to it and how excited they were to get started.  

The concept is that they think of little things to do each day that are little sacrifices to offer up to the baby Jesus.  Just imagine!  Doing something that you don't want to do for a good reason??  That is a sacrifice?  Well, we do those types of things ALL day!  Where do we sign up?  

I cut up simple pieces of yarn which serve at the pieces of straw to place in the manger.  One straw for each sacrifice.  Now, wait for it... here is the best part...all these pieces of "straw" placed in the manger add up to make a nice soft bed for the baby Jesus on Christmas day. 

That last part one more time:

All the pieces of "straw" placed in the manger add up to make a nice soft bed for the baby Jesus on Christmas day. 

Booya!! I bet you can't do that, Elf on a Shelf!!  You may be able to scare little children into thinking you watch them and report to Santa for that ever-so-coveted naughty and nice list, but do you ever actually teach them WHY they should behave?   That there is JOY in behaving, and actually, dare I say it, SACRIFICING for the good of others?  Um, I can't hear you.  I'm sorry, are you trying to answer my question? Oh wait, you are just sitting on the shelf.  I forgot.  

You sit around, you are fake and you stare.

So see how strongly I feel about the elf?  I used the word, "Booyah" with two exclamations points!

In all seriousness, I believe children have much more potential than the elf, and our culture in general, give them credit for.  If you are celebrating Christmas, why not teach them about St. Nicholas and have them do a sacrifice manger so you can really see their generosity of self and their true spirit of joy shine through?  

Aw, this is Carmen's (age 6) list of ideas.  She was so proud.  It was funny because she said that cleaning up her room helped noone. Ha!  

Emmett (age 7) kept his hidden the whole time that he worked on it and then presented it to us.  Putting John to bed is not going well, however.  John bats him away and yells "no".  To which I then yell, "Emmett! No one can replace Mommy! How dare you!"  

 One last word, here is an important picture from the front of the book that we must all pay attention to..

It's fun for ages 5-12.  TRUE.  and EASY on their MOMS, too.  NOT TRUE

LOOK, if you are going to do religion activities like this with young children, you need to be there to explain and support!  The word searches and cryptogram things can take the better part of a week if not supervised.  Not to mention, you run the risk of the whole thing just being busywork.  This book opens up the possibility for great conversations and family closeness if you give it your undivided attention.

I do say, however, that it is easy for moms because all the lessons are there for you to take advantage of and the videos are really cute! From what I hear, the Elf on a Shelf is a bit of work, so you may as well be more spiritually productive and go on the Advent Adventure instead!   The lessons are great springboards to discussion and there are cross curricular activities that involve writing and reading, as well.  So if you feel like you are spending a lot of time on it, then make sure you know you are covering other subjects simultaneously.  That is always a plus!

Lastly, buying the book is not necessary, in my opinion.  You can use all the free printables.  Having said that, I do like that we used the manger in the book for our sacrifice manger, but that is not a must.  Also, I love the convenience of having the book in hand and not having to print everything out. Lastly, I am glad I could help the website by purchasing some materials since that is how they afford to continue offering free materials and keep their mission going. That is a plus, too.  Oh, and you can't beat the added discounts they offer in the book.

In closing....

If you have made it this far into the blog post, then by all means, comment so I can say a personal thank you!

To those who have NOT made it this far in the post, may the beloved Elf stare at you all night from his shelf and whisper sweet nothings in your ear about your children's behavior.  Oh wait, nevermind. He can't talk.

He is fake, he sits around and he stares.

And now on to Day 10 of our Advent Adventure for the day.  We are enjoying a story about Juan Diego and Our Lady of Guadalupe since the feast day is on Friday and learning about Moses for our Jesse Tree ornament.

So whatever your adventure this season, may be it be a productive, healthy and happy one!

Advent Adventure time...

Emmett and Carmen showing their Advent Adventure book they will use every day during Advent this year.

It is time for our Advent Adventure!

I decided this year to focus even more with the children on the beautiful season of Advent.  Every year it seems to get more and more overwhelming out in the world of commercialized holidays and cookie cutter traditions.  Going through the motions in order to check a box and then post it on social media sites can be tempting.

Speaking of social media sites, I found my Advent Adventure materials on a Facebook post, actually.  The company is called Holy Heroes and I see it shared a lot on my page.  I decided to check it out and I am glad I did.  It looks like it will be a great way for us to celebrate and focus on the important things this season.

Last week, I introduced the children to the Holy Heroes website (which has cute little daily videos and printables).  I also ordered the Advent Adventure books and the Jesse Tree DVD and ornaments pdf files.  I have never done a Jesse Tree with my children before.  We are looking forward to starting that tomorrow, as well. We will keep you posted!

Jesse Tree video we are using this year.  It has all the ornaments to print out as well as a video for each day.

From our house to yours, we hope you have a blessed, joyful, and reflective season of Advent.

We were so happy to have a Thanksgiving snowstorm! 

Family and Christmas

Happy Pinkie Day!!!  We made it another week.  An adventurous, busy, Christmas-filled week.  We are still decorating for Christmas here at our home and we started baking all our Christmas goodies for our family and friends.  Emmett made sugar cookies for Pinkie Day, we made a sign (which we will show you next week!), and made gifts for Daddy.  We delivered goodies to the neighbors yesterday.  I feel like it is a real loss in our culture that we don't know our neighbors well and can practically never show up at someones house unannounced.  We tend to drive into our driveways and close the garage door behind us.  We go out to get the mail while looking down at the ground the whole way.  We take out the trash in the same manner.  I think our new neighbors were shocked that we delivered homemade baked goods to their door yesterday.  They just looked down at the container and have a such surprised looks on their faces.  I should just tell them I like to pretend we live on the frontier.

Speaking of the frontier, we also went to a field trip to the Frontier Culture Museum in Staunton.  http://www.frontiermuseum.org/ We learned all about how Christmas was celebrated by different cultures who came here to America and then came to blend their cultures together to form some of the traditions we have today.  So many of the traditions revolved around community and neighbors.   Settlers would go from house to house and sing and dance and play games.  Where has this tradition GONE???  Waiting in line at Michael's Crafts today, I thought about it. No one is HOME!  They are all in line at Michael's!  I just love the Frontier Culture museum.  I love bringing my children there and showing them what a different time it was back then.  That is why Pinkie Day is so important to us.  It is a time for family and sharing and singing and visiting.  So get your rolling pin out, bake some cookies for your neighbor and go knock on their door...wait for it...without even calling (or texting) first!  Happy Pinkie Day, everyone!

"Here we come a wassailing", at the English House

Throwing beans at the window of the German house to get them to come out and greet us

Learning about holiday foods the settlers prepared for Christmas

Learning about St. Nicholas Day at the German house