It appears other people had health problems today that needed attention.
I thought my uterus was going to be top priority, but alas, it wasn't.
And that is a good thing. George reminded me that if it was an emergency the ultrasound tech would have had me wait there while she called the doctor. Or the radiologist reading the images would have called the doctor with findings right away if they couldn't wait. He said you never want to have preferential treatment with doctors, that is not a good sign. I am glad to have a husband with medical background who works in a hospital.
And who also shocks me out of my doom and gloom/five alarm fire mentality.
So I do feel better tonight not having heard anything today. I did call the office and leave a message. I also sent the pdf of the ultrasound report to my doctor in the portal, so that was something.
I realize I get in my head about things when I am nervous or scared. I felt so good last night writing that post and getting things out there. It is very helpful for me to share! Lucky you! haha.
The messages I have received since posting last night have been so heartwarming and kind. I am so grateful to everyone who shared their similar experiences and who reached out to me to check in. The main sentiment was also, "How come we don't talk about this stuff?" Very interesting. My goal is to change the sentiment to, "I'm so glad I have so many people to talk to about this!"
And so I wait until tomorrow now, continuing to be grateful for friends and family. I received my mom's fruitcake today in the mail all the way from Hawaii! I know what you're thinking, her mom is not in Hawaii, she's dead! And you are right. My brother made it and mailed it to me, silly! It is so special and it couldn't have come at a better time when I need my mom! In the form of a fruitcake!
My mother made 50 pounds of fruitcake every year for everyone including all of our teachers. It was such an endeavor on her part but everyone loved it and looked forward to it every year! I HATED it when I was a kid. I had no interest in it. It was just this brown, creepy sludge in a huge vat on the stove and something that took her away from making the sugar cookies. But I do love it now!
It is like this involuntary response the second I open it. The smell hits me and I stare off into space and cry. I'm holding a hunk of fruitcake and crying and staring. It is not a good look, actually. John saw me open it today and there was this awkward pause from him as I held the hunk of a loaf in my hand. He watched my eyes well up as I sniffed it and then stared off into space and sighed.
After the moment ended and I snapped out of it, he said cheerfully, "Can I smell it?" And what happened next shows his true kindness. He smelled it and then said, "That smells good, can I have some?" In replaying this events in my mind, I now realize he didn't like the smell of it AT ALLLL and he was just being nice. Poor kid, I better have him start saving for therapy now instead of retirement. Holy crap, I just rembered I also said as I was smelling it, "If I close my eyes I can picture myself in my childhood home on Bradley Street in my kitchen with my mother. Can you see it John? Do you see it?? Can't you smell the lumpy, brown, sludge on the stove? Isn't it GLORIOUS??? John!!! Close your eyes and smell it!!!
....and then silence as he chewed and simultaneously questioned all that time he spent in my uterus and wondered if he should have filled out a change of address form.
So in other news (because I think it is best we move on from the fruitcake) the no spend challenge continues while the move to Richmond is on hold. I am giving myself time and space to be home, rest, regroup and train my dog how not bark at the window or the door every time the breeze blows. Honestly he is doing well! Good boy. I am so glad I am here now to help. John and I had a great day homeschooling, running errands, cooking, hanging out and laughing.
Here's a video of Bowser finding out her got his dog license.
And a little no spend update.
So another day where other people's problems were being addressed and I am praying for them. So many people go through scary things that no one knows about. If we all kept it all to ourselves, we would never understand each other or be able to pray for one another or to just be there for one another. I hope you are feeling well tonight!
I am going to have to delay being funny until I get some answers about my uterus.
Being funny AND having unexplained vaginal bleeding for a month don't feel like they go together right now.
Although I can't stop thinking about Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop when he yells, "It's not a tumaahhh!" (tumor) to the little kid.
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