Monday, March 9, 2015

It's not about me.

This post is dedicated to my "other" friend, Nancy. 

Sigh,  it is hard to be a parent.  I had my first child a few months before I turned 34.  My oldest now just turned 8.  And after this weekend, I think I finally realized it is NOT all about me.

We had a full weekend because of all the delays and cancellations from the snow.  It happened that Carmen's dance competition and Emmett's wrestling tournament ended up on the same weekend.  And also the same weekend as daylight savings time began.  This is not the weekend I needed to lose an hour's sleep.  

About that...I was so worried about missing Emmett's weigh in that when I woke up, I didn't know if my phone had changed time automatically.  I turned it off and then on again to be sure.  Then it showed the time wrong.  It showed that it was an hour later than it was.  So funny.  So now I wake up my whole family too early!  We all had an extra hour instead of losing an hour!  I should have known something was up when John was still sleeping.  I had to google "what time is it" on my phone and it told me the real time.  

Anyway, we made it to Emmett's weigh in with time to spare and we had a good time at Costco and got to the tournament in plenty of time.  I think in my next life I want to be the lady that hands out and sells the demo items at Costco on weekends.  They smile so nice and make me so happy to try to free sample.  Yesterday I wanted coffee so bad that I told George that I wished they sold coffee by the cup.  And low and behold, what was on demo?  The new McCafe coffee so I just swung by that station two times and had some nice fresh brewed coffee.  Granted John hit my arms a couple times by accident and I had trouble steering the cart with three kids hanging off of it, but it was relaxing nonetheless.  

At the tournament, we proceeded to sit for  four hours while in that four hours Emmett wrestled a total of less than 2 minutes!  He did get pinned both matches and by pinned, I mean you couldn't even see him on the mat.  It was like the mat ate him up and swallowed him and spit him out.  When the whistle blew, he just stood up and shook hands with everyone and walked off.  He's looking forward to the next tournament!  Ha!  We were so proud of him. 

Emmett shaking hands, It is like his opponent is saying, "Pleased to pin ya." 

And there's the pin.  Actually I can't say for sure if this is even Emmett, but you get the idea. 

Carmen and John were troopers. Right when they finally called Emmett to wrestle, John looked up and me and yelled, "Poop!".  He had to poop, seriously??? He held it in, though for the 30 seconds we watched Emmett and then we made it to the potty. :)

That is why it is not about me.  I sat for the whole weekend!  I sat yesterday at Carmen's dance competition and I sat today for Emmett's tournament.  I had the camera poised and ready to go.  I am so proud of them.  They both have found something they love and they have support from their mom and dad and family and friends to do it.  

I feel selfish for wanting a day off.  For wanting it to be about me.  I guess it is human nature.  Part of it is because I got married in my 30s because getting married later afforded me time to...

know what it is like to do whatever I want in the evenings.  

know what it is like to go out late, sleep in, watch movies with bad words, eat ice cream that I don't have to share and talk on the phone without any interruptions.  

know what it is like to be at mass and to actually be able to pay complete attention.  Saturday evening mass, for instance (warning... I am about to get personal. Read at your own risk.)  John counted my boobs.  REALLY, he counted my boobs.  He literally smacked one and said, "one", then he smacked the other and said, "two".  Then he proudly said, "two balls". 

This is a far cry from my single days when I came to Staunton for spring break from Maryland when I was teaching in public school.  I had Holy Week off so made a little personal retreat of sorts and watching EWTN all weekend and went to all the services at church.  Ah, well looking back on it, maybe that week helped prepare me for all times I would be distracted in mass with young children.  I always look back on that week with great spiritual consolation. 

Sooo, because I know what that is like, it is harder to sacrifice my entire weekend for my family.  This is not a bad thing, it is just an acknowledgment of the truth.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  It is an understanding of my life and what it means right now.  It is an understanding that 8 years ago, my life changed forever.  

My life changed in a way I could NEVER have predicted or understood. I would never be prepared for the magnitude of what it meant to become a mother.  I was already a teacher.  I knew that part.  What I didn't know was that I would actually secretly enjoy sitting on bleachers for an entire weekend to watch my children be happy.  I would be happy to spill coffee on myself because that meant I had a beautiful 2 year old boy who calls me "Mommy" sitting right in front of me who wanted a hug.  I would actually be happy that it wasn't about me.  OK, well that may be going a bit far.  I won't get carried away in the fake Internet world.  

Yes, I miss the lounge pants my friend gave me many years ago.  The pants said, "It's all about me" all over them.  I guess she knew me well.   I no longer have those pants.  Just as well, because it is not all about me anymore, is it?  


Well, this bucket of wings was about me.  My husband is so amazing that he picked me up some wings from Buffalo Wild Wings.  So I sat and enjoyed the wings at the end of a long weekend.  After all, had to celebrate International Women's Day, right?  

OK, so maybe it is still about us sometimes!!   I'll learn one of these days.  Until next time, find some moments for yourself in the business of life with children and household.  You will be better for them, I promise.  

Your reward for scrolling this far, and MAYBE reading is that  here are Carmen's videos from her competition.  Sweet Treat ballet and Dance Magic tap.  Enjoy!!


This is what it's all about.  It's not all about the hokey pokey and it's not all about ME!

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